Im Back Baby

[mattydonaldson]

So after a long summer away from the hussle and bussle of the internet and the world wide web, the prodigal son of tennisrulz returns fresher than ever and with a sharper wit than you could imagine, so beware.

Look out in the future for numerous arguments about why i dont care that some british bloke is getting his head sawn off, and why i think its important people like in poverty in the third world, and my particular favourite, making a complete mockery of one richard R Paveley

[Frank Riley]

And just think you are coming back at the same time I am. :)

[mick rob]

I take it your not here for the tennis then?
If you want an argument im sure we can acomadate!
By the way Im always right!

[mattydonaldson]

look at these newbies thinking they have the beating of me.
Please, i was embarrassing people on this website while you were still typing on an old, well, a pretty old computer

[Frank Riley]

Hi Matty...... :)

[JiMBO]

Hello mattydonaldson.

[3LF]

look at these newbies thinking they have the beating of me.
Please, i was embarrassing people on this website while you were still typing on an old, well, a pretty old computer

Ola is not spanish for how do :) Hola is :) Olá mattydonaldson :)

[mick rob]

look at these newbies thinking they have the beating of me.
Please, i was embarrassing people on this website while you were still typing on an old, well, a pretty old computer


Isnt it time you found somthing else to do then? mayby get a life!

[JiMBO]

Come to think of it, whatever happened to Glyn?

[Frank Riley]

I think Glyn and Gerhard are dating? :rolleyes:

[mattydonaldson]

Isnt it time you found somthing else to do then? mayby get a life!


Who the fuck is this bloke? I turn my back for a few months, and there are idiots like this suggesting i get a life.
This is perhaps one of my biggest pet hates. This person has seen what i wrote, and seemingly did not take to it. Why God only knows. Im hoping its Ken Bigley's son!!! Anyway, without actually having any idea of what i am talking about he has got all upset. It is at this point where he thinks 'well, that has annoyed me so much, i feel i have to say something'. All is well up to this point, but then the problem arises. What on earth can he write? It needs to be somethign insulting to ensure it bothers me, but similarly it needs to be witty and light-hearted to ensure it is agreeable with as many people as possible so as not to become a social outcast. He thinks, and he thinks, and he thinks...

Then he thinks a bit more.....

And some more...

and yet more...

And at that point, he begins to realise. He cant think of anything that is witty and insulting. He could either make a mum joke, which gets the insults, but isnt really witty. Or he could make a George Bush joke, which we ALL know is the PINNACLE of intelligence, but isnt really insulting. Our hero is in a right pickle here. He tries to back out, but he realises he cant!!! He is in too deep, for he has already clicked the reply to thread button!! What ever shall he do??

Fear not, for he has something up his sleeve. Something which has such devilish wit and is suicide-inducingly insulting. But he cant use it, surely. The world is not ready for such a line. Our hero is however, lest we forget, up shit creek with his back against a wall and a paddle overboard. It has to be used. A wry smile grows over his face. He knows no one can reply to this line. Its SO good. The smile develops still further, to a grin, a slight chuckle, up to a bellowing laugh heard for miles around. He settles himself and return to the keyboard, still grinning from ear to ear. He types the line at which grown men have actually recycled not just their computers, but their houses, such has it tainted their lives...

GET A LIFE.

He sits back and looks over his work. He contemplates personalising it a degree, maybe including a 'dickhead' or a more sophisticated 'gayboy', but decides against it. Lets not rub salt in the wound. He clicks submit reply, and walks away felling really quite proud of himself that he has dealt with the problem in an intelligent matter.

Lets get one thing straight my friend. I do not need the advice of imbeciles to conduct the activities in my life. Those that know me on this board will have read that with a small smile on their face. Those that dont will now know it was a joke because of your stupidity.
Now let us wait for the obviosu reply regarding spelling mistakes and 'i didnt read all your post, coz it was really long, and i cant cope with any piece of text that is more than 100 words long without the inclusion of a pair of breasts close to the text.

[mattydonaldson]

And for the record, Glyn is fine, in both senses of the word. Doctors are pleased with the progress he has made in recent weeks, and that he should walk again soon. He has however been banned from Sainsbury's for using their fruit stand as an inpromptu prop for a rendition of 'Club Tropicana' with Rich, his very own Andrew Ridgley.

[mick rob]

Oops!must have touched a nerve there matty.
Before we get off on the wrong foot I took what you wrote in the light hearted manner im sure you wrote it.
When I said get a life! this was wrote in the same context.
This brings me to belive you have not got a sence of humer although you do support West ham so you must have.
As for spelling who am I to critasize.

[JiMBO]

No no no! Its Arsenal fans who have the sense of humour. West Ham fans just have the Paracetamol bottle close at hand.

Look at Arsenal. Winning every game like it impresses everyone. They have NO talent what-so-ever, and Thierry Henry realises he is completely overrated, so he has to fight his insecurities by scoring goal after goal, and making assist after assist. You wouldn't catch Ruud Van Nistelrooy resorting to those desperate measures. Arsenal fans say "We're invincible. Lets not a silly thing like facts get in the way". They laugh to hide the tears, I can tell you...

'Arsenal 4-0 Charlton' indeed! :mad:

[mattydonaldson]

OK. well im gonna let the West Ham comment slide, provided you tell me who you support. I need some ammunition!!!
And its nice to see some maturity from someone. Good decision. In the past

[mattydonaldson]

And jimbo thats a brilliant post. Gotta love Arsenal at the moment as much a i hate to say it. Bastards.

[mick rob]

Sorry to disapoint matty but I dont realy like football very mutch but since you asked the only two teams I realy look out for are England and my local team Darlo.(and you have to have a sence of humour to support them).
By the way they won 4-0 this week. To me football is to overraited and the players are spoilt prats.
It was a good sport at one time but now players fall over and start crying over the slitest thing.This makes the game farsical played by whimps not real men.
Also there,s to many foreign players in the teams.
Even the England manniger is a swede.

[Frank Riley]

Okay this may sound stupid but I have to ask, did Glyn really get hurt?

[mattydonaldson]

he is fine now. The staff on the fruit section were not so lucky. Geoff, the vegetable supervisor is now sorting his aubergines in the sky, and exotic fruit manager Tony is consigned to an electric wheelchair for the rest of his life. That Rich can be quite feisty when faced with the prospect of sharing Glyn with another man

[glynos]

Yes I did get hurt. And it was suicide-inducingly painful! I was about to kill myself until I realised that it was illegal, and punishable by death.

[mick rob]

glynos The death penalty was abolished years ago however may I suggest you attemt a fake suicide and get the Police to stop you. then you can take them to court for infringement of your human rights and sue them for thousands of £££.
If you do will you lend me a tenner!

[Frank Riley]

At least I know Glyn still has that cheerful mind and smart... will I better not say it there are kids around. Just glad Glyn is okay ;)

[JiMBO]

Yes I did get hurt. And it was suicide-inducingly painful! I was about to kill myself until I realised that it was illegal, and punishable by death.

I hope this wasn't influenced by the, quite frankly, bloody strange transfer of Jonathan Woodgate to Real Madrid. He wasn't that good, and he should probably be in prison.

Plus, the Toon have Titus Bramble to call on. So things aren't that bad...